October 12, 2013

I have been thinking about relationships lately, and I realize that I don't think I have any real relationships.  I listened to Pastor Scott say that Jim would speak into his life with some Godly council or correction and Pastor Scott would take it to heart.  I don't think I have that kind of relationship with anyone.  What really concerns me is this, do I have an intimate relationship with Christ?  Or is he just a bunch of rules and regulations?  I long to have Someone who I could go to any throw myself in His arms and just rest.  Feeling the love and comfort of the the Great IAM.  It's hard for me to imagine this kind of intimacy.  There is no one in my life with whom I can throw myself in their arms, so how can I know the true comfort of the Lord.  The reverse of this is also true.  I say I love the Lord.  How does one love another?  I am not really sure.  I know it's not a feeling, but at the same time it is (I think).  I think of love as more of a commitment than a feeling.  I guess love is when you do the best for the other person.  You make a commitment to uplift, encourage, support, help, respect, honor, and reflect positively upon another.  If this is love, I guess there's a couple of people I genuinely love. But is it possible to love someone, without have a relationship?  I love my mother, for example.  She and I uplift, encourage, support, help, and respect each other.  But there is that barrier of her being a mother and me being a daughter.  We share, but there are things we keep private. We hug, but it's usually a hello or a good-bye hug.  I don't rest in her arms like I did when I was a child.  I don't think I have anyone's arms in whom I can rest.  Which makes me wonder, how does one rest in the Arms of God
when your earthly experience is so limited?  How does one trust in a Holy God, when your earthly experiences are so limited? How does one love an Almighty God when your earthly experiences are so limited?  I thank God that His experiences are not limited.  He can and does love with unwavering
commitment and compassion.  I might not be able to feel it yet, but I know that He is there. I guess that is what is called faith, the realization of things hoped for; the evidence of things unseen.